How are we to become more than this moment without faith in the Living God who holds His power on it? On my situations and your situations of doubt, needing more clout and despair routes, knowing that in these days and times all that we can really do is follow these same routes. Trying to make not only bank accounts rise righteous but trying to make our rank accounts rise pious. May take so much more than we've got. Looking around and seeing the crowds and wondering how much more have we got? Populations frustrating the tensions already tensed and tight. For this pious nature regulating nomenclature we here and now write. Maybe to excite the masses destined to crash their spacecrafts in the tower of Babel remix. Trying to tie in the towers of clabber to add a heritage suffix. Who can look at a life lived like this? Looks as if we all are quick, so quick to forget,. So quick to forget that we hurt while we laid in them streets and upon them dirty mattresses, hurt when we worked to remove the mark of the taken, the stolen worth when we were unearthed and forced to birth a form of hole-i-ness. So we come here agitated, aggravated, exasperated, look we are tired of you saying that we have nothing to be tired from or for and just listen to us when we say that we too have been greeted by hatreds and so much more. Maybe not to the effects that you have in your days gone past and now borne.

 

Look at us, see for yourselves, dear elders, for we too are right now torn. Looking for a singular way to be reborn, but this clamor causes us the stammer that reaches into us for the ending to this deep porn. We saw it coming up and now we spill it forth and you speak about us as if we should know better and find the answer out. We hope to find the answer out. We hope to find the answer route. But we seem to be stuck in this current trade route. Lord, Lord, send us a million blessings because we got so many more than a billion stressings stressing and pressing and taken the tastes of our lessons. We need You according to Blizz's didactic lessons. We need You and therefore we assemble in pieces this day, this moment, for Your peaces to rain down on us in our due seasons. We are searching for reason. Teach us to handle these demons. You know that they are currently heating and carrying the heaters and wondering how life could ever be lived without carrying heaters. But Your name is also heating us in the core of our meaning and we are fighting the blighting that is staining our seating. Wood grain panels lining our former soul's scrolls where we had to renovate and upgrade because the paints and interiors were peeling. We keep on hitting this ceiling. Imprisoned and behind them bars before we ever are sentenced. We need You to collaborate with the witness. We are the witnesses who were at the scene of the crime able to tell everybod that there was in fact no committal of crime besides the injusticce axe thrown against our backs and the hatred lance cutting deep us because they can't rectify their positions, postings and stance. Peddling these woebegones because we just figure that there are so many corporates peddling their own higher formats of woebegones. And they are getting paid richly for it. Who will hear this voicing? Who will consider this blood that is human life coursing? We were stormed from the inception of teaching us the bible in rigourous enforcement. Stolen from our fortress. That means that there came battle axes and bandits storming our fortress to conquer our portions. I see it still today but there are crusaders politically enraged and engaged in the Norsemen. Calling us after the crimes of the Norsemen. Who will ever shed light on the plights and the unjust rights afright in the Caucasus man. Why does he own everything when nothing is even in his hands? Why does he own all when found to publicly fall? Why does he commit war crimes in the streets and blame it all? Started from the seed and the fathers of my breed have been separated from their original grace and given this original, aboriginal greed. Under the guise that they desire only a society freed. Lord Lord, lead someone to pray here for me. Seeking livre. Seeking that free. Send that blessing. 4 yes, right here we are stressing.

 

2 Samuel 22

David's Song of Praise

 1 David sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. 2 He said:
       "The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

 3 my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
       my shield and the horn ^[a] of my salvation.
       He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior—
       from violent men you save me.

 4 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,
       and I am saved from my enemies.

 5 "The waves of death swirled about me;
       the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

 6 The cords of the grave ^[b] coiled around me;
       the snares of death confronted me.

 7 In my distress I called to the LORD;
       I called out to my God.
       From his temple he heard my voice;
       my cry came to his ears.

 8 "The earth trembled and quaked,
       the foundations of the heavens ^[c] shook;
       they trembled because he was angry.

 9 Smoke rose from his nostrils;
       consuming fire came from his mouth,
       burning coals blazed out of it.

 10 He parted the heavens and came down;
       dark clouds were under his feet.

 11 He mounted the cherubim and flew;
       he soared ^[d] on the wings of the wind.

 12 He made darkness his canopy around him—
       the dark ^[e] rain clouds of the sky.

 13 Out of the brightness of his presence
       bolts of lightning blazed forth.

 14 The LORD thundered from heaven;
       the voice of the Most High resounded.

 15 He shot arrows and scattered the enemies ,
       bolts of lightning and routed them.

 16 The valleys of the sea were exposed
       and the foundations of the earth laid bare
       at the rebuke of the LORD,
       at the blast of breath from his nostrils.

 17 "He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
       he drew me out of deep waters.

 18 He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
       from my foes, who were too strong for me.

 19 They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
       but the LORD was my support.

 20 He brought me out into a spacious place;
       he rescued me because he delighted in me.

 21 "The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness;
       according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.

 22 For I have kept the ways of the LORD;
       I have not done evil by turning from my God.

 23 All his laws are before me;
       I have not turned away from his decrees.

 24 I have been blameless before him
       and have kept myself from sin.

 25 The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness,
       according to my cleanness ^[f] in his sight.

 26 "To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
       to the blameless you show yourself blameless,

 27 to the pure you show yourself pure,
       but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd.

 28 You save the humble,
       but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low.

 29 You are my lamp, O LORD;
       the LORD turns my darkness into light.

 30 With your help I can advance against a troop ^[g] ;
       with my God I can scale a wall.

 31 "As for God, his way is perfect;
       the word of the LORD is flawless.
       He is a shield
       for all who take refuge in him.

 32 For who is God besides the LORD ?
       And who is the Rock except our God?

 33 It is God who arms me with strength ^[h]
       and makes my way perfect.

 34 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
       he enables me to stand on the heights.

 35 He trains my hands for battle;
       my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

 36 You give me your shield of victory;
       you stoop down to make me great.

 37 You broaden the path beneath me,
       so that my ankles do not turn.

 38 "I pursued my enemies and crushed them;
       I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

 39 I crushed them completely, and they could not rise;
       they fell beneath my feet.

 40 You armed me with strength for battle;
       you made my adversaries bow at my feet.

 41 You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,
       and I destroyed my foes.

 42 They cried for help, but there was no one to save them—
       to the LORD, but he did not answer.

 43 I beat them as fine as the dust of the earth;
       I pounded and trampled them like mud in the streets.

 44 "You have delivered me from the attacks of my people;
       you have preserved me as the head of nations.
       People I did not know are subject to me,

 45 and foreigners come cringing to me;
       as soon as they hear me, they obey me.

 46 They all lose heart;
       they come trembling ^[i] from their strongholds.

 47 "The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock!
       Exalted be God, the Rock, my Savior!

 48 He is the God who avenges me,
       who puts the nations under me,

 49 who sets me free from my enemies.
       You exalted me above my foes;
       from violent men you rescued me.

 50 Therefore I will praise you, O LORD, among the nations;
       I will sing praises to your name.

 51 He gives his king great victories;
       he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed,
       to David and his descendants forever."

 

Lord, let them hear Your voice in their tombs of this life. Let them hear Your words in the swallows of this life. Lord God, let them to know truth in this cave of despair in this right now because Your words and Your voice and Your name and Your truth are even right now at this very moment of writing and expressing are challenged so greatly. When Your fire burns hot because of their sins O Lord God, forgive them quickly that You might not consume them and take all that they are from them. O Lord God Your mercy endures forever. We call You Lord God Forever Father because we do not generally say the word abba, we do not generally say those cultural phrases that indeed have belonged to the Israelites that You took unto Yourself to become more than an idle idol of a god.

 

Oh You have breathed on us this very day, this very hour, placed this life flame in us that makes us move, makes us think and ponder, makes us cry and weep, makes us ask strength to go on from here. We hate and do grow tired of walking in this land where there are no true respects given to us. We hate and do grow tired of being classified as negroids, as oddities, as impressions and reflections of a slave culture that seemed to only bow down. But we do bow down O Lord. Every hour and every minute and every breath of every day that we are given here we do bow own to the oppressors of our bodies and spirits and souls and minds. Our hearts leak because we only have a can of Fix a Flat handy to cover over small ripos and tears that come from environmental damage done to us. We try and lift up our heads in this place but we are immediately brought back to this strange reality that screams that we are nothing and that we are worth even less than that nothing. Why do we suffer this way? Why do we find it hard to call on Your name O Lord God? Why do we have our ideas and our hopes and our dreams stolen by these ghosts who offer no name or acquaintance?

 

We are stricken with strokes because of the pain in upkeeping this breath by breath maintenance. We are hooded and elaborate that this place might know that no pain will take us away without a fight? But You O Lord have given us a new way to fight. It seems so strange to fight by praying our rest new and by praying their rest new.

 

It seems crazy to fight by thanking You for pains and wrasslings and rumblings and humiliations and so many of us just won't bow down to that kind of a relationship. They say that it is trading one tryant for another, one oppressor for another, one pimp for another, one drug lord for another. You know the game Lord God. How are we to ever win? How will we make it with the house stacking the odds against us like this? We look to yOu O Lord God knowing and really not wanting to believe that we are held in censorship in all that we do.

 

Where are the fair wages Lord God? Where are the equal distributions of wealth and class and position. Why does my sisters with college degrees have to come out of graduation and only be qualified to find work in lingerie shops and coffee shops and bars? Why do my brothers have to wear fitted caps and hoodies and tattoos to show their individuality because their voices are not of equal weight and value without billions of dollars flowing from drug trades and pornography distributions? Why does the aggravated only get caught and held and imprisoned for none else than aggravated assaults? Why do the farmers I know not want to grow anything without Miracle Gro because the competition at the farmer's markets is crazy and unreal? Why does this hurt keep on hurting when we are relying on You to give peace to us? We have this ministry. We have this ministry.

 

O Lord God they can't believe it. They can't believe that we had the audacity to stand before them and say that we are children of Your family, that we are trusting in You to handle our bizness, that we know that You will make a way. The ghosts are stirred up, riled up, distraught and when they become this way our lives get harder. When is gas going to go back down to 80 cent a gallon? I know that it will be so in the natural. However even more greatly I know that no matter the drought or the famine, no matter the droughtline in my heart, the faultline in my heart, no matter wehre the favellas of my life lie and are found that you Livign Waters and Your mercies and Your graces are always free and without price. You told us to come and buy and eat without price.

 

InYour name, in Your palaces, in Your love and kindness. And Lord God, Dios, Abba, Forever Father, Healer, that doesn't seem like it could ever be enuff. Lord, that doesn't even ever seem like it could ever be near enuff for all of these mouths. We turn away from You Lord God in search of other provisions.

 

We turn away from You LOrd God and say forget You Lord God and that we shall not be found following after silly dreams and silly notions thatwe can live off of the good Lord's provision. We hold that You do not have enuff. We hold that You can't make it rain enuff to satisfy our every need. We hold that You Lord God are not capable of breaking thru the intelligentsia barrier to reach us when our souls live in ghettos and when our spirits and our minds are in line for the pogroms to catch us and grind us in the hottest fires. But we cry for You in these crazy places just in case we need You. more of us have You Lord God on speed dial than any of us walking here, spilling here may ever know.

 

Hold us Lord God, keep us Lord God, unite us Lord God, give us peace Lord God, transform us Lord God and let us roll out knowing that You are never to leave us, never to abandon us on some unknown road, thatYou are never to let us call after You and not turn to see what is the matter with us. Thank You Lord God for loving us. That You might be glorified and magnified and praised all the days of my life. Even right now. You are the signer of my Freedom Papers. In the matchless words of Kirk Franklin. This is it. We have this ministry.

 

Hurts pressed in on us so greatly that it seemed like all was soon to be over.

 

We got pinched, the bills ran high and the money coming in ran low. Our thoughts were criminal in so many ways, we folded to lie in wait for the chance to smash the joy of that one whom said that the joy of the Lord is their strength. We lay down in the grasses grown tall, timed as perfectly as we could the moment to strike and then we were making out like thieves. I have lived on the riches of other's.

 

Have you ever lived when you wanted to be dead? Have you ever strained to get thru the sifter so that you could be scot free? I wonder now exactly what that means. Scot free. I write here right now because I have been renewed with a great living water.

 

You don't understand the running away from a calling that never stops calling.

 

If it means loing them even while I am broken and tired from days and days of watching and interacting, if it means telling her that she has had an absent husband due to the shackings with pornography for the last 4 years, 5 years, if it means being with dad, listening and watching uncle Paul, hearing voices in the night saying that they got em, hearing gunshots from somewhere up the street, moving away to hear from God in issues of feeding my family, trying to balance between mom and dad and stepdad and all that means, I praise God in this place for one more day.

 

I could have slept away into death. I could have died in the night hour. I could have been in pain more than right now. I woke up this morning by the grace of God, that matchless grace that moves all over me even right now.

 

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

 

His love sent Jesus Christ into my life that I may find the word called Islam very real. Islam means submission. What follower of God can argue that submission is not an attribute that must be possessed in order to be a servant of this Most High God whom created us for this very moment in time?

 

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

 

(written May 27, 2008 @ 10:13am)

 

I am so glad that God is more than a passing breeze. My life is ripped up even right now. I am surprised I know my own name at this point in my life. I drea waking up each day because this living thing is getting harder and harder. I once thought that life was a lush and comfortable carpet all the way to heaven. I could never see or imagine that hurts would ride me and press me and break me like they do. This is a work that is five years in the making and I still hurt.

 

The bruises that have come, the swellings that have come, the hopings and bustings open that have come are part of God's ultimate plan to bring a witness forth from this rotten and decayed crop that is seen as useless and worthless and ground stealing.  

 

Your bruises have come and yes, they resound in your ears and appear right before your faceseven right now and you are wondering if you have sufficient material within you to keep going. I cannot say the reason that God sees fit to recycle our decomposing lives besides the reality that someone needs to see the miracle of amazing grace.

 

God's grace has brought me back from the dead many times over. One might saythat I speak of God right here as one would speak of an investment portolio or of some stock or IRA plan.

 

And that's fine because God has been good to me. I thank God for my life, my health and my strength. I thank God for my family though always our lines of sight are not aligned and singular. It is interesting and very amazing that God uses every event and inkling of our lives to align and realign us individually with His visions, horizons and views.

 

We disintegrate, we melt, trying to hold God's props inside of us. Yeah, the situations are many and powerful when we just don't feel the time is right to add God's influence or the name of Jesus Christ to the cipher, to the discussion, to the think tank, but in majestic and insurmountable ways God's grace comes through for us and all that we can do is open up all of ourselves to the flow that stops sin's disease from spreading any further and in fact eradicates even the genetically hidden powers and recourses of sin altogether.

 

Blessed be the God of our right nows Who lives to make even the dead we see in ourselves return to life!

 

Full and vibrant and fresh and stunning and more than trendy are the mercies made new by Ishi. Ishi is right here with us even now crooning that we call HIm our husband instead of our Master. Your lifeis on a track of success because God's love is rich and unfailing.

 

I think that when we go to school or join the working world or whatever we do to prepare for tomorrows that we hope and pray better than right now we never really see God except for behind our successful dust in the rear view mirrors of our souls and spirits. We fold over twice to love our own family. I once dreamed of being a doctor and it was a dream born out of the need to be well and free.

 

Have you ever dreamed of being well and of being free?

 

We write even here and now five years and some change after this place called Mushana Outreach Online first existed that we are still God's masterpieces being perfected in the flames and floodings on life's grand shores.

 

blessings and let Jesus Christ drive you sometimes.

(written March 20, 2008 @ 3:27pm)